


From one Victor to another

by LiaoftheDawn



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Character Death, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 12:52:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8579320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiaoftheDawn/pseuds/LiaoftheDawn
Summary: Yuuri finally tells Victor about Vicchan





	

Victor first noticed the strange behavior on his second night in Yu-Topia. Yuuri's mom (Mrs. Hiroko, a sweetheart, really), brought him a bowl of katsudon and placed it in front of him. With stars in his eyes, Victor was about to dig in to it, but he took a peek to look at Yuuri's dietary meal, only to find a small bowl of katsudon –it looked more like a child's plate- next to the bigger one with noodles and vegetables. Yuuri muttered a 'thank you' at his mother and grabbed the smaller bowl, then looked up at Victor to say 'You can go ahead' before getting up from the table. Victor opened his mouth to scold him ('you'll forever remain a little piglet if you don't stick to your diet!'), but Mrs. Hiroko placed a hand on his shoulder and shook her head.

"He's not going to eat it, I promise. Just give him a minute, please."

Taken aback, he shut his mouth tight and followed Yuuri with his eyes until he left the room. Curiosity and the worst part of his personality nagged at him at the back of his mind. _Follow him, follow him. Ask! You're his coach, you have the right to know!_ But he shot that down too. He didn't know why, but he could tell from the slump on Yuuri's shoulders and the stern look on Mrs. Hiroko's face, that this wasn't something for him to know, at least not until Yuuri himself decided to tell him. When Yuuri came back a couple of minutes later, the corners of his eyes slightly reddened, he knew he'd made the right choice, and continued eating as if nothing had happened.

This behavior repeated itself every night at dinner. Some nights, Yuuri's eyes wouldn't look red when he came back. Other nights he'd take longer than a couple of minutes, and his meal would get cold. Victor would then grab it and take it back to the kitchen to microwave it. Mrs. Hiroko would smile at him when he did that.

On Yurio's first night at Yu-topia, he too had been about to yell at Yuuri when he got his small bowl of katsudon –probably to throw an insult, or mockery, or both,- but Victor stopped him with a sharp tug on his elbow. Yurio snarled at him, but let it go, deciding to focus his attention on the katsudon. When Yuuri came back with reddened eyes, Yurio shot Victor a hard glare, but was sensible enough to keep quiet. Victor made a mental note to thank him for that later.

Even though he hadn't been in Hasetsu for more than two weeks, Victor realized he had grown oddly _protective_ of Yuuri. Especially when it came to whatever it was he did before dinner. If they weren't alone in the dining room, Victor would find himself glancing around the moment Yuuri left with his tiny bowl of katsudon, prepared to pounce on anyone who attempted to bother him. It was never necessary, and he realized it was a ridiculous feeling, Hasetsu was a small town and Yuuri was a beloved local celebrity, it was rather likely that everyone else already knew what this was all about, and no one would ever try to hurt him, but the feeling was there nonetheless.

'Protectiveness' wasn't the only thing he felt about Yuuri. In fact, it seemed like each new day he found himself feeling something different, new, and ever warmer, something he was a little afraid to name, but wanted to cherish close to his heart nevertheless. Sometimes he felt he pushed a little too far, sometimes he knew he did. Like when he teased Yuuri about his null romantic experience. Perhaps he should've realized sooner that it was a sore spot for him, but he couldn't help the delight that came with reminding himself of that fact again and again. So when Yuuri snapped at him, started avoiding him and skipped practice, he knew he had to change their dynamics.

Taking Yuuri to the ocean seemed like a good idea. It reminded him of home –which he didn't miss as much as he thought he would- and felt like a nice change of scenery, ideal for a real heart-to-heart. He didn't want to force Yuuri to open himself up, but he wanted to encourage him to do it at his own pace, let him know that he could trust him, that he'd listen and wouldn't judge him, that he'd meet him halfway. And when Yuuri stood up, his cheeks still flushed with bewilderment after that lovers proposition (it had been worth the try), and told him that he wanted _him_ , just for him, he knew buying that one-way ticket to Japan had been the best decision of his life.

"That's how I show my love."

Perhaps not the best choice of words. Accurate, he realized, perhaps a lapse from his subconscious that was growing tired of him dancing around the subject of his own feelings, but for a moment, he feared he'd pushed too far again. And yet Yuuri grabbed his hand, squeezed it, and smiled at him just as the sun appeared from behind the clouds, as if the gods themselves were blessing their connection.

That night they sat quietly for dinner. There was no one else at the diner, a rare occurrence.

"Victor?"

He tore his eyes away from his plate and saw Yuuri holding his usual small bowl of katsudon. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes looked insecure. Impulsively, Victor reached across the table and placed one of his hands on top of Yuuri's, stroking the back of his palm lightly with his thumb to reassure him.

"Yes, Yuuri?"

Yuuri nibbled at his lower lip, his eyes fixed on the bown in his hands. Victor saw him swallow, his Adam's apple bobbing slightly, and that seemed to give him the courage to get on his feet.

"Would you… would you come with me…? Just-just a minute?"

Victor's heart fluttered in his chest."Yes." he breathed, all too fast, so he backtracked immediately, not wanting Yuuri to feel invaded. "If you want me to."

Yuuri finally looked up to meet his eyes, and his hold on the bowl tightened. "I do." He said firmly, and Victor didn't need anything else.

He followed Yuuri to a secluded room at the back of the inn, very dimly lit. There was a wooden structure against the wall, with flowers and incense and a framed photo that Victor couldn't make out from where he was standing. Yuuri placed the bowl on the structure –which upon further inspeaction, turned out to be an altar- and kneeled in front of it, his hands on his knees. Victor copied him, taking a spot to Yuuri's left, giving him enough space to pull back if he wanted to, and enough closeness to feel he was right by his side if he needed him.

"You probably know this already," Yuuri began, his eyes fixed on the altar. "but I've looked up to you since I was 12." he swallowed hard again. Victor knew, Mrs. Hiroko knew not of the concept of discretion, and probably at a different time he would've teased Yuuri a little about it, but he knew this was not the time. "One day I saw a picture of you with Maccachin on a magazine and… I just… I wanted to feel closer to you… I'm sorry, I know this is silly—"

Victor's hand shot to wrap around one of Yuuri's squeezing it tight. "It's not silly." He cut him off, and squeezed his hand again for good measure. "If it matters to you, it's not silly."

Yuuri looked up at him, his eyes glassy behind his lenses, and Victor's heart clenched. "I-I… had a poodle. Not as big as Maccachin but…" his voice quivered. "I… begged my parents for one really badly, and then I saw him at the pet shop and I…"

Victor looked up at the altar, laying his eyes on the photograph. Yuuri as a child, hugging a small brown poodle, smiling radiantly. And he understood.

"H-he really liked katsudon. I'd always sneak him a piece of mine under the table. I think Mom just pretended not to notice." A couple of tears slid down his cheeks. Victor wished he was allowed to kiss them away. "H-his name was V-v-victor, I… it just sort of turned into Vicchan but… I-I'm sorry, this is weird after all."

Unable to contain himself any longer, Victor let go of Yuuri's hand in favor of wrapping his arms around his body and pulling him in a tight embrace. "Don't say that, Yuuri. I'd never think it's weird." He stroked his back softly, and felt him whimper against his chest. "I can tell how much you loved him. And I'm honored… that you gave my name to someone that was so important to you."

Yuuri's hand bunched at the front of his t-shirt, shaking slightly, and Victor felt the dampness pooling through his collarbone. "I… I d-didn't see him in f-five years. I left him a-alone and… I couldn't even be here for him at… at the e-end."

Victor nuzzled the top of Yuuri's head, carding one hand through his midnight hair. He thought of kissing his forehead, like his mother used to do when he woke up after a nightmare, but he wondered if that would be pushing Yuuri's physical boundaries and decided against it.

"When I heard Vicchan was g-g-gone I just… and then the Grand Prix, and I…"

Victor's heart twisted in his chest. So that was the reason he had underperformed last year? Even after suffering such a painful loss he'd managed to stand on the ice, and yet he blamed himself for it? Victor wished he could find the right words to make the pain go away, to make Yuuri understand that none of it was his fault. But he didn't know the words, so he hugged Yuuri tighter, humming softly right above his ear.

"I know it's been months and I should… I should be over it now but… but sometimes I wake up and think that maybe it was all a nightmare and that Vicchan will come and ask me to take him for a walk any minute. And sometimes I come back home and expect him to be there to welcome me. But then he isn't and I… I…"

Yuuri shivered and pulled away abruptly, wiping his tears away furiously. Victor missed his warmth immediately.

"I'm sorry that… that's not what I'd wanted to say at all. I'm so—"

"Yuuri, please, don't apologize anymore. You should never apologize for grieving someone you love." Victor grabbed his hands again and looked him straight in the eye. With his free hand, he reached inside his pocket for a handkerchief and wiped Yuuri's nose clean too. "Your feelings are valid, Yuuri, never doubt that. You loved Vicchan, and you'll always miss him. Never think you're not allowed to cry for him." He remembered how it'd been when he'd lost his first dog, when he was fourteen. He hadn't left his room for a week, and it had been the first time he skipped practice since he first started skating. "It means a lot to me that you'd share this with me, and I want you to know I'm here for you. I'll listen any time you need me to."

Yuuri sniffled and nodded quietly. He looked down at his hands, wrapped between Victor's, and squeezed his eyes shut, a couple more tears sliding down his cheeks.

"Yuuri?" he called, softly, tugging on his fingertips lightly. Yuuri opened his eyes and Victor pulled his glasses away to gently wipe the remnants of tears away. "This year's Grand Prix Final… let's win for Vicchan's sake too, yes?"

Yuuri's eyes widened and he inhaled sharply. His body quivered but he nodded, and Victor saw the ghost of a smile tug at the corners of his lips –or at least he thought he saw it before Yuuri leaned forward and wrapped his arms around his torso, burying his face in the crook of Victor's neck.

"I… I'd really like that."

Victor hummed again, nuzzling Yuuri's temple, his hands slowly wrapping around his body and holding him tighter. He looked up at the altar again and saw the photo of Yuuri with his poodle, and smiled.

_Hey? I know you don't know me, but from one Victor to another, I promise I'll take care of him. I'll do whatever it takes to make him happy. Is that okay with you?_

He thought he might have heard a soft yip in the distance, but the sound of Yuuri's heart against his was too loud to be sure.

**Author's Note:**

> idk why i wrote this, i know it's terribly written and i didn't even edit it, i just needed it out, I'm sorry


End file.
